Welcome to The Everyday 22

::sigh::

I need motivation... inspiration... something to make me feel like I have a purpose to get out of bed in the morning. Wait, why would I need that? I already have a husband, a cute little white dog, a roof over my head, the job that greets with with a lifetime of experience (maybe not so much for the paycheck), and a super supportive and independent family. Yet, I find myself looking for that extra push that usually, I think, most people around me are looking for as well. It's a familiar conversation. One that my husband and I share even when we don't have a glass of wine in our hands and usually find ourselves silent, pondering the "correct" answer. Of course, it will usually come up at some point during a get together with friends and the really, really close family members. You know, the ones that can't offend you... haha.

What do you want to do with your life? What are your next steps? What gets you going in the morning to get to tomorrow?... Damn, I can't answer them!

I wasn't one of those kids who knew that they wanted to be a doctor or some shit like that which had meaning right off the bat. I think I wanted to dance... either because I was good at it, like second nature, or it would be the easy "A" in college. Yea, that's it! "Mom, I am going to make you proud with a degree in Dance! I know, I know... it isn't anything compared to your degree in Chemical Engineering, but I'd being doing what I love." Oh, I could see it now, just as clearly as the thought crossed through my mind then. The precious age of sixteen where you start ruling your our world and everything that touched it. She wouldn't have minded of course. She'd invested so much into that part of my life, it wouldn't hit her until my current age when I'd have to retire and start all over again. So, would it have been that great of a loss anyways? She wanted to be a concert pianist, but walked into the wrong classroom her first day of college. Too embarrassed to leave, she stuck it through. Inspiration right? At least she found her niche for the next few years. I tried again this last semester to go back to school. Perhaps my girl Theresa was right?! Was Occupational Therapy my calling? It seems not, as I found out. I don't have the transcript to get into the college that offers that program. Besides, I was failing my Algebra class from this semester anyways. It's just not meant for me! So, now what?

Let's see what my options are? I enjoy teamwork, but I thrive in an environment that puts me with me, or maybe me and you at most. I love, love, love food and did well in that industry, but I just don't breathe it like my sister does. I have a creative side, but I am no artist. I guess I've been classified as a people person, but I have trust issues. I am a former model/ dancer/ Miss California, but I'm not "fitting" into that category anymore... lol!! I'd love to travel the world on mission trips, help educate children, and start some type of foster home abroad... but, that all takes money. Something that everybody bitches about even when their intentions are only to better their own lively hood.

Welcome to my life's 22.